Sucker Punched By Life

When God Is Making New Wine

It's been a long while since I blogged. Even my daily instas have tapered off, though I hardly think anyone notices. This isn't to say I want to guilt anyone into interacting with my words--but what's true is I haven't kept up with the speed of change in the influencer-world in which we find ourselves. It actually has come to feel overwhelming. How about you?


Readers and reactions definitely serve more motivation for writers. But my writing has mostly come from my desire to sow insight into the world. To spark thinking beyond what is common. To sow seeds of truth and grace and pray over them for even a tiny harvest.


I still write a lot in my journal.


My journal is actually saving my sanity this year. I mean, the recipient of my journaling is. Jesus, my Savior--and I've never been more grateful for His Friendship or for His constant availability. So many mornings I write my heart out to Him and He helps me l-e-t * g-o. He reminds me of what is true. The clouds of dark diminish in the light of His glory and grace. I'm so grateful.


Since my sister died on New Year's Day, 2024, there have been other deaths, funerals, surfacing painful family dynamics, sickness, age-related issues with my hubby-who-hurts . . . and finally my sister's memorial service on Memorial Day.


I feel sucker-punched by life.


It's not that there are not really wonderful things happening along with the painful-hard. It's that the hard underlies all the happy. It seems the waves continue rolling in . . . and my heart feels buffeted. I admit, I'm a bit of a melancholy naturally, and so in seasons like this I must fight the heaviness that wants to hover. I mostly do, being well-practiced in resisting the dark.


I remind myself of what I keep saying to others, "We are the hope-bringers!"  We are those who look beyond what we can see with our natural eyes to what our God can do--what He WANTS to do in this old dusty world: REDEEM . . . RESTORE . . . REBUILD . . . REVIVE . . . RESURRECT.


And so I preach to myself.


"Keep your heart hoping, Kathy." Those are my words to myself. "Keep hoping in the light breaking in, the goodness of God chasing you and your people. Remember the promises. Walk by faith, not by sight."


And so I do. I do when I wipe the rainwater off of the picnic table from Menards that matched my sister's. Janie worked at Menards and we happened to buy the same one the same year. I remember her sitting at that table on my deck, and her laugh. And I am mad I can't talk to her whenever I want. Mad that I can't congratulate her today.


This morning I got the text that Janie's first grandson was born last night. She was so thrilled that she was going to have another grand baby. I remember her on Christmas Eve sharing the marvelous news--like it was yesterday and I can't believe she's gone. My first thought, "I hope she can see." My second thought, "One day she will and all will be as God meant for it to be. None of this death or loss in the midst of blessings and joy."


Count your blessings, dear.


God is here. God is in control. God is good. God will bring good. God is good at being God. This is not the end, it's only a blip on the radar of eternity. Get up higher. Get up again into the faith zone. Climb up in God's lap and look down on it all with Him and surely He is with you till the end of the age which is only the beginning for us who look to Him and trust Him as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death here.


And so I write today to remind someone. Maybe you: Hope. Keep on fighting the good fight of faith. Never let the cloud of dark linger long. Remember to remember that Heaven is up ahead and One Day all will be forever paradise--the place we all crave. Thank Jesus for opening the Way. Thank you for new babies, birthdays, new beginnings, weddings, wonders, healings, health, happiness, sunshine and picnic tables to gather family around and build memories and sow seeds into eternity.


Grace upon Grace.


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