Foundation Stones of Parenting

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

Isn’t that is what we ultimately want for our children? That they’d grow to know and love the truth and to live free from fear and the bondage of sin?

Any operation or organization that functions well has an established system, whether a corporation, a branch of the military or a family. Fortunately God has given us the outline for our families in His word. We don’t have to walk this mom-journey blindly! God shows us how to live according to His plan in His word.


In God’s amazing creation, each family is unique. His desire is for us all to abide within the boundaries and guidelines He has established in His word — for our blessing.


We often wrongly believe His boundaries are restrictive when He intended them to be protective. When we walk with Him, we learn there is much room to move within His good boundaries.


Whether we homeschool, or our kids attend private or public school — If we are walking close with God and listening for His voice, we can trust we will be within His plan for our lives and He will cover our children and our homes with His grace.


The most valuable goal is to establish within your home an understanding of the value of God’s authority, and how He delegates an order of authority for the flourishing of His creation.


Within a corporation you may have a CEO, a president, a treasurer, a secretary…etc. Each job title and each employee has his or her own job description. If each member does their job well, the company will function as smoothly as possible.


In God’s design for the family, He is the ultimate authority, and He delegates authority to parents over the children. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it appears there are many parents today who are afraid to parent, becoming friends of their children instead. We might guess many lean toward permissiveness or passivity for fear of their children rebelling, which likely stems from a lack of understanding that loving discipline and boundaries are necessary for children’s flourishing.


Establishing the conviction within your own heart first, and then in your home that God’s authority is supreme is the most beneficial (and I will go as far as to say imperative) thing you will ever do. If you don’t have Him and His word behind you, your home will be open to chaos. (See Ephesians 5:22-6:4 for the benefits and the divine order)


A word about Authority:


To many this word brings pictures to mind of bossy, mean, and oppressive rulers.


But with God, as with so many things in His Kingdom, all of that is flipped upside down. Jesus says he came to serve.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Mark 10:45

So the One in the highest role of authority is the One with the greatest responsibility to serve the family. Isn’t that beautiful? God established authority for safety, provision, protection, and at the top: Joy!


It is His joy to see to the needs of our families! (Just as you delight to see your family thrive!) Honoring His authority is the reason I can tell you this side of parenting, that though my husband and I made many mistakes, our children love and honor God.


Having His authority established early in our home helped us through difficult times in the teen years. Where things may have turned out badly and wrought destruction, we saw God protect and sheild due to their willingness to honor our leadership by their obedience.

Our children honored us as parents because they honored God who gave us the authority over them. Our word was good because He established it to be so.


One of the first passages we memorized together was Ephesians 6:1-3: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”


Knowing those verses myself helped guide my parenting decisions. Establishing a love for God’s word was a priority in our home.

What not to do: The last thing we want to do is just be rule-makers. Ruling without love leads to creating robots. There is no heart in a robot. No truth and no freedom. We don’t want robots. Even on the days we might think we do… 


For more encouragement, I highly recommend a book called Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. You can also check google to find podcasts by him.


What to do: Make it clear to our children that God wants a love-relationship with them. Help them see that Jesus’ death on the cross is the greatest act of love in the universe and talk about how the cross establishes the length and depth of God’s love for them.

Love and reverence for the Lord is best transferred to our children by our living it out daily. When we, as parents love God, talk to Him and talk about Him; when we spend time in His word and read it to our children, when we show our love for Him by our obedience, we will have sufficiently guided them to the path of Life, where they learn to love truth and live free.


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