Standing in the barn’s loft overlooking the barn yard, spring was time for lambs at my future in-law’s farm. We were watching dozens of little ones, grey and white cotton-covered bodies and black leg-warmers. They were playing king-of-the-hill, kicking both hind legs to the side as they pounced downward from atop of the mound of dirt.
They were so adorable, I just wanted to hold one. To somehow know them better through a connection. Dale gathered one in his arms and brought it to me. I held out my own arms to receive the bundle.
It was nothing like I had anticipated. Wiggly, gangly, kicking frantically, I just set the darling thing down. Disappointed that it had not lived up to my expectations-there was no holding it.
I remember that day and that experience often as I take in a sunset over the ocean or a scenic mountain view, and hold an inner desire to engage somehow more deeply than through my eyes, my skin. I hunger to hold the moment forever or at least take it home with me somehow.
There are those perfect nights on my deck, sun sparkling on the water as it sets. The birds sing in the distance, a palpable tranquility.
The moment’s create deep longing in my soul. For more.
Daily I find within unfulfilled longings. A desire for something seemingly unattainable. And I’m guessing it’s universal. Do you know what I’m talking about?
I often find I thirst for my relationships to be deeper. I’m sad at ‘good-bye’ and ‘good-night’.
I am extremely grateful for my family and friends… I enjoy my times with them tremendously. But underlying all is a longing for more.
And I know what it is: This inner ache, the insatiable inner longing is longing for the Creator of it all. I want God.
I enjoy art. I love watching a plays, visiting art galleries. But more satisfying is meeting the producer, the actors and the artists- because there is a story behind every creation. I always want to ask, “What caused you to create this?” I want to know the heart behind the art.
Revelation of the Creator’s heart gives completeness to my experience of His art.
Yes, I know that’s what it is: This longing . . . It is a hunger for God. It is a desire so intense, so constant, that it beckons me to continue to seeking to know Him. I long for Heaven where I will know completely. What a Day that will be!
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT